Wednesday, 8 April 2015

1.       In an interview, Pamela Anderson said that if she were Hillary, she would leave President Clinton. In response, Clinton said, “If Pamela Anderson were Hillary, nothing like this have happened at all!”
2.       Considering that in order to get married, you have to have a marriage licence, what do two lesbians have to get?
3.       Sardar-“Will you marry me?”
Girl-“sorry, I am a lesbian.”
Sardar-“What’s a lesbian?”
Girl-“I like to have sex with girl only.”
Sardar- “Wow, I’m also lesbian.”

4.       Tere hothon se lag kar yah hawa sharab ban gai, Aankhon se lag kar yah hijaab ban gai,Aur gaalon se lag kar yah gulab ban gai. Sach hi kahti hai yah duniya jaaneman ki muje se mil kart u laajawaab ho gai.
5.       In some function a man asked a boy-“where is your father?”
Boy-“stand beside my mother he will come automatically.”
6.       Wife is incoming call calls, Girlfriend is outgoing calls, Aunties are toll free call girl roaming calls and neighbour’s girl are missed calls.
7.       It takes a brave man to admit his mistake, especially in the middle of a paternity suit hearing.
8.       Q-Did you hear about the blind gynaecologist?
A-He could read lips.
9.       Monty-“Do you believe in free love?”
Billo-“Have I ever given you a bill?”
10.   Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half –shut afterwards.
11.   Lady to doctor-“I believe I’m losing my mind... I can’t remember Anything over 5 minutes!”
Doctor-“Just take off all your clothes, Miss, and lie down..”
12.   Jab dekha unhone tirchi nazar se, To hum madhosh ho gaya, par jab pata chala ki unki nazarain hi tirchi hain, toh hum behosh ho gaye...
13.   Judge-“Why do you want divorce from your husband?”
Wife-“Because at midnight he gets up and says that now I should go to my home.”
14.   Judge-“I have reviewed this case very carefully, and I’ve decided to give your wife Rs. 7775 per month.”
Husband-“That’s very fair, your honour, every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself.”
15.   Funny full-form of names such as-
1.       PEPSI-Please Enters Penis Slowly Inside. Yeh dil maange more!
2.       COCA COLA-Cock One Ceremoniously Administered. Crack One Luscious Aperture. Life ho to aisi!
16.   Jack and Jill went up the hill for just an itty bitty. Jill’s now 2 months overdue, and jack has left the city.
17.   Q-Why is sun tanned girl like a roasted chicken?
A-Because the white parts are the best.
18.   Judge-“I’m sorry Mrs. Fauja, your daughter is only 15. I can’t issue her a marriage licence.”
Mrs. Fauja-“Judge sahib, do you mean my daughter is too young to do what she has already done?”
19.   Tu mere dil me aisa samaayi, Tu mere dil mein aise samaayi. Jaise baajre ke khet mein bhains aayi hai!!!
20.   Lady 1-“How does your husband always come home on the time?”

Lady 2-“Have made simple rule. Sex will be at 9pm sharp, whether you are here or not!!”

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