“For a laugh
three French soldiers put mustard in their ears from then on they are called the
three mustard ears!!!”
“Why do Marxists
like fruit infusions?”
Because all proper
tea is theft!
“What did the
bird say as it flew over ASDA? "Cheap Cheap"
“there are 3
wives who want to decide what to wear. First one says ,my husband has black hair
I will wear black deer. Second says my husband hair is grey and I will wear a grey
dress and the third one gets worried and starts panicking. When asked she tells
the other two that her husband is bald so she would have to wear nothing to the
party.
“Three budgies
in a cage, one on the top perch, one on the middle and one on the bottom perch.
Which Budgie owns the cage? The one on the bottom perch, the other two are on higher
perches”
“What will Postman
Pat be called when he retires?”
Pat
“A man took his
Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross--‐eyed. Is there anything
you can do for it?"
"Well",
said the vet, "Let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up by the
ears and has a good look at its eyes. "Well," Says the vet, "I'm
going to have”
“What was born
to succeed?”
A budgie with
a blunt beak.
“what do you
call a fly with no wings?”
A walk.
“What will Postman
Pat be called when he retires?”
Pat
“Why did the
monkey fall out of the tree?”
He was dead
“George Howard,
the man famous for writing the Hokey Polky died last week. They had a horrible time
at the funeral parlor, first they put his left leg in....”
“A pork Pie walks
into a Pub and says 'Ill have a pint please' ,to which the landlord replies --‐
'sorry we don’t serve food'
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