“The police arrested
two men, one for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fire crackers. They
charged one and let the other one off.”
“What has four
wheels and flies?”
Garbage truck.
“Why did the
man drown in a bowl of cake mix?”
He got pulled under by a particularly strong current!!
“A man went to
a horse breeder and said, I want that horse. The breeder said that horse aren’t
looking so good, but the man still wanted to buy it, so he did. The next day he
came back with the horse and said, you sold me a blind horse,
the breeder replied I told you that horse aren’t looking so good”
“Me: Ask me if
I'm an orange! You: Are you an orange?”
Me: No!
“why do ducks
have flat feet?”
To stamp out
forest fires!!
“Two hikers were
walking through the woods when they noticed a bear charging towards them in the distance. The first hiker removed his
trail boots and began to lace up his
running shoes. The second hiker laughed and said, "Why bother changing out
of your boots? You can't outrun a bear." The first hiker replied, "I don't
have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you."
“Two elephants
fall off a cliff.”
Thud. Thud.
“Before you criticize
someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you'll be
a mile away and have their shoes.
“What's the difference
between a trampoline and a bagpipe?”
Eventually you get tired of jumping on a trampoline.
“What do you
call a fly with no wings?”
A walk!!!
“What happens
if you don't pay your exorcists.”You get repossessed
“What do you
call a child who fries and eats both his parents?”
An orphan.
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