1.
How to impress a
woman-Compliment her, respect her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her,
stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money
on her, wine and dine her, buy thing for her, listen to her, care for her, stand
by her, support her, go to the end of the earth for her.
How to impress a man-Show
up naked. Bring beer.
2.
In hospital several pretty
nurses were wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. Why? “It’s just to
keep the doctor away.”
3.
Murray tells about the twines
who meet after not seeing each other for some months. “you remember me,” says
one to the other, “I used to be your womb mate.”
4.
To make it straight she pulls
it. To make it stand she rubs it. To make it stiff she licks it. To get it in
she pushes it. What is she doing? Threading a needle!
5.
The sudden entrance of a wife
caused a secretary to change her position.
6.
Q-How did the blone prove that
woman enjoy sex more than men do?
A-She said, “when your ear itches and you put your little finger in and
wiggle it around and take it out again, what feels better, your finger or your
ear?”
7.
If your Father is a poor man,
it’s your fate but, if your father-in-law is poor man , it’s your stupidity.
8.
SIGN ON COMMODE
“Use me well, and keep me clean, and I’ll not tell what I have
seen.”
9.
One sperm says to the other,
“How far is it to the ovaries?” The other one says, “Relax. We just passed the
tonsils.”
10.
It you’re watching a movie on
the TV, and girl says ‘No!’...You know
it’s an old movie.
11.
Q-What do you get when you
sleep with a judge?
A-Honourable discharge.
12.
In olden days man’s greatest
fear was that woman would take it to heart; today his greatest fear is that a
woman will take it to court.
13.
Humne bhukhe raskar aapko
milaya phone, Aapne khaate hue phchhha hum aapke hain kaun?
14.
In a train, Fauja with son and
wife; Bunty’s top berth is taken by someone. His wife,jeeto is on the middle
berth. Fauja complains to the TT, “A
sleeping over my wife is not giving birth to my son.”
15.
A boy and a girl argue about
the possibility of rape. They try it; and he wins. “You didn’t win fair,” says
the girl. “My foot slipped. Let’s try again.”
16.
Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent,
spontaneous, Good looking, nice friends, Charming, Funny, well....Enough about
me! How about you?
17.
Q-What’s the difference between
good girl and nice girl?
A-A good girl goes home and goes to bed, and a nice girl goes to bed
and goes home.
18.
Did you here about the Vegas showgirl
who says she has sex insomnia? She just can’t keep her thing closed.
19.
1st girl-“I’ve to be
extreme careful not to become pregnant.”
2nd girl-“But, your husband has gone thru a vasectomy.”
1st girl-“That’s why I had to be careful.”
20.
Usne kaha, itni mulaqat bohaut
hai ro ro ke kaha- Thahro abhi raat bohaut hai, Aansoo mere tham jaaien, to
phir shauq se jana aise mein kahan jaoge, barsaat bhoaut hail.
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