"Is it
true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?"
"What
kind of pig can you ignore at a party?"
A wild bore.
"What
kind of murderer has fiber?"
cereal
killer.
"When
is a vet busiest?"
When its
raining cats and dogs!
"What
is the difference between illegal and unlawful?"
One is
against the law and the other is a sick bird.
"What's
the difference between a rainstorm and a lion with a tooth ace"
One pours
with rain and the other roars with pain.
"How
many ears did Davy Crockett have? Three."
A left ear,
a right ear, and a wild front ear.
"Where
does Kylie get her keebabs from?"
....Jasons
Donervan!
“Jesus
Christ walks up to an angry mob that is stoning a harlot. He steps into the fray and calls out in a commanding voice:
"Let he
who is without sin cast the first stone."
Shamefaced, the
crowd stops and begins to slink away. Suddenly, a woman shrieks,
"Stone her!",
and the mob starts again with the frenzied stoning. Christ, chagrined, goes to the woman and says:
"Damn it, Mom, I hate it when you do that.”
“Why did the
Koala fall out of the tree.”
Because it was
dead!
“Why did the
Kookaburra fall out of the tree”
Because it was
hit by a falling dead Koala
“Why do Kangaroo's
jump”
To miss all the
dead Koala's.
“What can you
tell when your drummer is drooling out of
both sides of his mouth?”
The stage is
level.
“A drummer
gets fed up with all the comments denying he's a real musician, and so he
decides to learn some new instruments. He visits his local Music shop, and
spends an hour looking around and deliberating. "Right!" He says,
after an age. "I'll have the shiny red one, and the accordion thing
over there". "I'll do you a
deal" ays the Music Shop Manager, "You can but the fire extinguisher,
but the radiator is staying where it is"
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