Wednesday, 8 April 2015

1.       aQ-What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?
A-“Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!”
2.       Jeeto-“You say I look old but people still praise me.”
Fauja-“It must be surjeet.”
Jeeto-“How do you know?”
Fauja-“He is a scrap dealer.”
3.       Q-What is supposed to be the worst crime that villain Gabber Singh had committed in ‘Sholay’?
A-he killed the thakur’s wife, and cut of the thakur’s arms, too!
4.       Life gives answer in 3 ways. It says yes and gives you everything. It says no and gives something better. It says wait but gives you the best. Let the best be yours.
5.       You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
6.       Jeeto-“What are doing?”
Fauja-“Washing myself, of course.”
Jeeto-“Without soap and water?”
Fauja-“Haen’t you ever heard of dry cleaning?”
7.       A priest is teaching a nun how to swim. She says, “Father, will i really sink if you take you finer out?”
8.       Lady-“My salesman husband is away more than 6 months of the year. What would you do in my place?”
Sexologist-“Why don’t you go over to my place and we’ll do it there. Your husband might come home when we least expect him.”
9.       “Do you love me, Eddie, or is that just a flashlight in your pocket?”
10.   Jeeto-“Why don’t you give your husband a divorce?”
Preeto-“What, I have lived with him for ten year and now I should make him happey?”
11.   A girl goes to the gynaecologist and he examines her.
He says, “You have acute vaginitis.”
She says, “ Thank you.”
12.   Lady-“ Are children allowed to travel without ticket in the bus?”
Conductor-“Only under 10.”
Lady-“good, I’ve only 7.”
13.   Apne pajame me naada daal nahi sakte hain, Aur kaargil mein ladne ka daawa karte hain, Ghar me biwi ke ghulaam banaker rhte hai, aur  baahar aakar khud ko shshansham,Bante hai!
14.   Q-wait 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, has a head on it and woman love it and woman love it
A-Money.
15.   Q- Why is a sheep better than a woman?
A-Because a sheep doesn’t care if you fuck her sister.
16.   Knowledge-Knowing what to do.
Skill-Knowing how to do it.
Wisdom-Nothing doing it!
17.   Lady-“Doctor I have an infection down there.”
Doctor-“How often do you have sex?”
Lady-“Once in six months.”
Doctor-“God, that’s not infection, that’s rust...”
18.   Q-How is a condom like a wife?
A-     They spend too much time in ur wallet, and not enough time on ur dick.
19.   Lattle Bunty catches his parents making love. “Hey dad! What are u doing?”
Dad- “I am Filling your mother’s tank.”

20.   Bunty- “Oh , yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. “The milkman filled her this morning.

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